Dear Future Son in Law,
What a big task you have. Taking on our daughter. Because she is no piece of cake. More like a piece of work. The best piece of work, but still. I hope you are ready for her. And for us. Because you see, she means everything to her Dad and I. She is the very, very best part of ourselves. We love her more than you can ever imagine and only want the best for her. I trust, since I have hopefully raised her right at this point, that you are in fact what is best for her since she chose you.
Right now your future bride is 3. Crazy to think of her at 3, I know. She is amazing even now. I can't wait to think of how amazing she will be when it's your turn to share her with us. I wanted to tell you a little about her just so you can be sure you know what you are getting yourself into. She's funny. As in wet your pants funny sometimes. So I hope you aren't intimidated by a funny girl. She's also stubborn. It's about the only thing she gets from me. But when she has made her mind up about something, that's pretty much the way it's going to be. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes this is a bad thing. She overthinks things. She worries. More than any child I've ever seen. She is compassionate. And she loves. Big. With everything she has. I don't imagine this will ever change. But her very best trait in my eyes? She doesn't judge. She just loves everybody. No matter the color, no matter the size, no matter about anything. She just thinks everybody is the same. This is what I pray stays the best about her. And that she doesn't let this mean world change her in that aspect.
Also, dear son, she will have high standards. I can't and won't apologize for that. She has a wonderful, amazing Daddy who treats her mama just the way she'll want to be treated one day. I pray that you are being raised learning these very traits that she will be looking for. And if not, that you'll learn it somewhere else in the world. For you see, I of all people know that not everybody comes from the best background or the best family situation. But that doesn't mean a thing in how you will turn out to be. YOU will decide who you are and what kind of man/husband you want to be.
And last, I pray for you each day. I don't know where you are or what you're doing. Only God knows that. You may not even be born yet. But each day (usually in the shower where I do most of my praying, Is that weird?) I pray that you are loved. You are being taken care of. You are safe, warm and fed. And that your parents are raising you into the man that will eventually share our daughter. That will give her a new last name and hopefully one day make her a mother. I'm in your corner. I already love you. You will give me a son.
And if you promise to take care of our precious girl, I can promise you a few things too. I promise that I will teach her, mostly by showing her, how to love her husband. I promise I will teach her how to make a house a home. I promise that I will teach her how to make a mean meatloaf that you will like even if you think you don't like meatloaf. I promise I will teach her how to pray for you, pray for your marriage and pray for your children. I promise that I will teach her how to work hard and value what you two accomplish in life.
You and I are a team. We are her past and you are her future.
"Don't miss a chance to put each other first
Now that you've vowed for better or for worse
And don't let the beauty of this life pass you by
In the times of trouble you'll stand side by side.
I'll take this slow, sweet walk with you."
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
One kid vs Two
Such a hard decision. When I was growing up, I always thought I would have probably 2 kids, and maybe even three. I come from a family of three. Then I met Heath who also comes from a family of three. So easy, peasy. We both come from a family of 3 siblings so why not just do the same. Wrong.
I had a perfect pregnancy. Got pregnant easy, loved being pregnant and delivery was a piece of cake. So, its not this fact that turns me off from having more children. It's probably this fact that makes me want another the most at times.
But then I actually met Bentlee. And everything changed. We say all the time that God was just busting at the seams to make her and put her out in the world. That's why I got pregnant so quickly. He broke the mold making her. She is just such a different child. She sees things differently. She analyzes things. She makes me think. She challenges me to be different, to be better. And honestly, we are just so happy with her. It's me, her and Heath against the world. We are a family. And we feel complete. I'm not saying another child wouldn't complete us even more, but how do you ever know that? If I had another and then changed my mind, its not like you can send it back.
And then there are finances of course. Kids are expensive. Very much so. And I want to be able to afford nice things for her. Buy her a car. Pay for her wedding. Possibly send her to college. And those are just the big things. Not counting the day by day things like preschool or dance lessons. I do realize that money isn't everything. Trust me when I say I know this. But these are all things I want to do for her. We don't make a ton of money. There I put that out there. We have enough for sure and truly live within our means, but add another kid in and it would for sure be tougher.
Then there are the pro's of having another. Another Lori and Heath. Another human being that I love more than anything. Somebody to share the responsibility of taking care of us when we are older with Bentlee. A built in best friend for Bentlee. Except you can't always guarantee they will be best friends. Siblings don't always like each other. But it would def teach Bentlee a few things. How to share. How to be more patient. Giver her somebody to protect.
It's just such a serious decision for me. And typically I can make serious decisions very quickly. But just not this one. It's to big for me. So, I pray about it. I ask God to show me what His plan is. And if it's to have another child, I ask for him to open my heart to the idea. And to open Heath's. And I ask him that if it's his plan that Bentlee is an only child, then let me be concrete in my knowing that so I don't drive myself nuts. I keep waiting for the day where I can be sure one way or the other.
I had a perfect pregnancy. Got pregnant easy, loved being pregnant and delivery was a piece of cake. So, its not this fact that turns me off from having more children. It's probably this fact that makes me want another the most at times.
But then I actually met Bentlee. And everything changed. We say all the time that God was just busting at the seams to make her and put her out in the world. That's why I got pregnant so quickly. He broke the mold making her. She is just such a different child. She sees things differently. She analyzes things. She makes me think. She challenges me to be different, to be better. And honestly, we are just so happy with her. It's me, her and Heath against the world. We are a family. And we feel complete. I'm not saying another child wouldn't complete us even more, but how do you ever know that? If I had another and then changed my mind, its not like you can send it back.
And then there are finances of course. Kids are expensive. Very much so. And I want to be able to afford nice things for her. Buy her a car. Pay for her wedding. Possibly send her to college. And those are just the big things. Not counting the day by day things like preschool or dance lessons. I do realize that money isn't everything. Trust me when I say I know this. But these are all things I want to do for her. We don't make a ton of money. There I put that out there. We have enough for sure and truly live within our means, but add another kid in and it would for sure be tougher.
Then there are the pro's of having another. Another Lori and Heath. Another human being that I love more than anything. Somebody to share the responsibility of taking care of us when we are older with Bentlee. A built in best friend for Bentlee. Except you can't always guarantee they will be best friends. Siblings don't always like each other. But it would def teach Bentlee a few things. How to share. How to be more patient. Giver her somebody to protect.
It's just such a serious decision for me. And typically I can make serious decisions very quickly. But just not this one. It's to big for me. So, I pray about it. I ask God to show me what His plan is. And if it's to have another child, I ask for him to open my heart to the idea. And to open Heath's. And I ask him that if it's his plan that Bentlee is an only child, then let me be concrete in my knowing that so I don't drive myself nuts. I keep waiting for the day where I can be sure one way or the other.
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